Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
