You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
