then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
