What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
