that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
