What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
