So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
