It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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