I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
