and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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