Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
