it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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