A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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