Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
