What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm at about main and main street
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
