Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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