She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dear god my vagina.
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