This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
