girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
