dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
