Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
