? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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