im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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