So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
