nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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