So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
