i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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