What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
