I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
People in love make me want to vomit
it hurts more in the daytime
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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