i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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