dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
