i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
