Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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