Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
