Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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