Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't make out with my wife yet
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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