plz talk dirty to me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
