In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
