I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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