Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
As shirtless as possible
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
