I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
