sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
