i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
