My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
