I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
