I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
