Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
