new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
