Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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