That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
