Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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